Sometimes a moment in time can be so beautiful that it brings you to tears, is embedded in your mind forever and changes your perspective so much that you are never the same. For me, the experiences in my first two blogs about seeing “the other side” have these qualities, but this third experience is my most poignant.
I came home with a migraine in the fall of 2015, not a small one but the kind that makes you feel nauseated and causes you to see out of a tunnel through squinty eyes. I managed to drive from my office, pick up my girls from school along with their friend, make them a snack and then asked them to please watch a movie and be very quiet. I climbed the stairs to my bedroom with tears running down my cheeks, put on soft, soothing music that tends to help me with migraines and gently laid my throbbing head on the pillow. I closed my eyes and prayed for relief. I wasn’t asleep, but I wasn’t quite fully awake, just in that lucid first-level of sleep for about an hour.
My migraine had been downgraded to a dull throb thanks to Excedrin Migraine. My music stopped and I slowly opened my eyes letting them adjust to the light. As my eyes focused, the most beautiful being hovered above me horizontally, her face perhaps eight inches above mine. She looked at me with so much love that I knew she was an angel. She had long hair that flowed around her as if she was in water, eyes a deep, tranquil blue and skin that glowed from the inside out. Her smile was soft and gentle as her eyes looked into my soul. I felt an immense peace and I telepathically asked her who she was. She replied, “I am an angel sent by God.” As I continued to look at her in amazement, I asked her what her name was and listened. She sweetly said, “I have been called many names throughout time. It doesn’t matter what you call me for I have been sent to tell you the truth.” I asked her what she meant, and she continued, “You know the voice you hear in your office? The one who tells you things that are true that you do not know? That voice is me.” I had been experiencing the phenomenon of knowing things about my clients that I couldn’t possibly “know.”
I remember one of the first times I heard this voice. I was told during a session with a new client that she sang. Then the voice told me to ask her if she sang. Thinking something and being asked to confirm it with someone are two different things. I argued with the voice in my head that I wouldn’t have very many clients if I just start asking them random questions that are wrong. Despite my fear of being wrong, I asked, and the client said “yes, I do sing.” Then the voice said to me, “she writes music, ask her.” Being a bit braver that the voice had been right, I asked her and she looked a bit surprised and said, “yes, I do.” Then the voice said, “her songs are about healing and love and it’s time to record them and share them. Tell her.” Wow, this seemed a bit intense, but why stop now. I said exactly that to her and she responded with, “yes, I do, and I receive that message from God.” I was thrilled! That day marked the beginning of me listening to “the voice” in my head who told me things I couldn’t possibly know and relying on it for guidance to help people heal.
Thinking about all the times I had heard a voice, I asked her why I had never seen her before in my office? Up to this point, I had only seen my guardian angel Beau as well as other people’s angels around them. She replied with a smile, “I am always above you and you never look up.” I must admit that I love her sense of humor.
Our conversation continued and I told her she was beautiful as I stared into her loving eyes, basking in complete awe of her splendor. She replied, “The beauty you see in me is merely a reflection of the beauty that is within you.” I wept at her words, the weight of them, the deep truth within them settling down around me. How often had I been unkind to myself, only able to see the beauty in others? My tears began to wash away my negative self-concept, all the self-judgement around my outward appearance and my lack of grace toward myself for my imperfections. Here was the most beautiful being I had ever seen telling me her beauty was a reflection of my inner beauty. She knew her words would heal me, change me and sink into my soul as the truth. Such a beauty exists in all of us, but how many times had I missed seeing the truth within me. I remind myself of her words when I hear my inner critic start playing an old record and use her truth to silence those unkind words.
I decided that afternoon to call the beautiful being Truth. She is with me daily, whispering the truth to me, guiding me, loving me and giving me the gift of watching others heal in front of my eyes. I look up to see her beauty shining down on me now, to see her gentle smile and to feel our deep connection. My sight and hearing continue to develop as I listen and look with expectancy for what is beyond the physical, to be used as a conduit of God’s love so that we can heal.