Be The Creator

I love to talk about manifesting, because it is exciting and empowers my creative energy. I have learned that when I am in victim mode, I am not creating; I am putting my power in someone else’s hands and, as we know, our thoughts create our reality. Victim mode can look like a lot of things: “I can’t get out of my relationship, things will never change;” “I hate my job because my boss is mean,” “I only date men who don’t like me, no one appreciates what I do.” Can you feel the low vibration? A simple shift from victim to creator would sound like this: “I am seeking counseling to improve my relationship and myself,” “I don’t enjoy X in my life so I am going to try Y,” “I am going to update my resume and find a job that is a better match for my needs and makes me happy.”

Can you hear and feel the difference?

I hear so often that people feel “stuck.” I totally understand that, and have lived “stuck” for quite some time in my past. A pivotal moment for me in breaking free was when my dear friend, Sarah Singer Nouri and I had lunch one day. While we waited on our food, she questioned me about some uncomfortable topics in my life, and pushed me to tears as I acknowledged how I was allowing myself to “play the victim” in my life. She drew the drama triangle and explained to me that I had given my power away. I didn’t like hearing what she said to be honest, but I knew it was the truth. I was stuck because I wasn’t creating. It didn’t happen overnight, but I started to take my power back in my life. I started to own my choices regardless of how painful they may have been, and I chose to sit with the discomfort of change.

I sat in it, cried through it, and threw a few temper tantrums because it felt hard and terrible and was a very messy process. But it passed. Emotions are temporary, and I learned to sit with them and balanced my energy and mind through journaling, reiki, and sessions with other healers. I figured out what I wanted to create and began one step at a time, day after day. It’s been over three-and-a-half years since that conversation and my life is completely different than it was that day. I have a sense of freedom, power, and love that is infused into what we call “badassery” in my home.

I love the life I have created! It is full of friends, play time, a job I love, and time to be, do, and create what I want, and who I want to be.

If you are feeling “stuck” in an area of your life, or maybe your whole life (I am a Libra, so when one relationship or aspect isn’t harmonious, I think my whole life is crap), then I would encourage you to identify where you are the allowing yourself to be the victim. You cannot create from a victim mentality because you have given all your power of creation away. If you think everything is crap – your job sucks, your relationships aren’t a fit and feel too small, you don’t like where you live, etc., then sit down with a pen and a journal and try to isolate what the root is. What is the story you are creating in your mind that makes you the victim? Then start to craft a new story. If it’s your job, what do you want to do? If you don’t know, you can’t create without setting some intentions around it, so start with things like “I want a flexible work schedule,” “I want to make $X00,000+ per year,” “I want these benefits,” “I want 3+ weeks of paid vacation,” “I want a team environment with a supportive culture.” Start one step at a time with small actions to get to that place. Create a resume, go to a job fair, talk to people and let them know you’re actively looking for a new job. And journal. Write down how happy you are in this new job, how great your boss is, how you love your co-workers, and keep doing your best at your current job. You can visualize yourself in a new office or working from home, but try to be specific and feel the happiness as you visualize your dream job. Keep taking steps toward your goal and let the Universe deliver you an amazing job.

I like to work on one area of life at a time, because it can be overwhelming if you work on too many things at once. I asked my mom (who is on the other side, in heaven) why I wasn’t manifesting XYZ, and she said you are trying to focus on too many things at once. Pick one and focus. She also reminded me to be very clear with my order and be thankful as if I already have it.

I asked her why I didn’t have a healing center. She said because you place an order for it and then cancel it by thinking you aren’t sure you want that. You aren’t clear on whether you want it or not. She was right, I wasn’t clear. So, I journaled and journaled, and then wrote some more until I was clear. I decided after reading my thoughts that I didn’t want it after all. I wanted to teach, travel, raise my girls, and have more personal freedom. Owning a larger facility wasn’t in alignment with the life I wanted to create, so I let it go. Now, I can focus my energy on creating more of what I DO want!

I must say it is working. I placed an order for PTO. As an entrepreneur, there hasn’t been any paid time off for the past 7+ years. On Thanksgiving, my SBA money was approved and deposited. I got PTO! I never dreamt that’s how I would receive money, but I asked and the Universe moved to deliver in a delightful way! I stopped saying “I don’t get paid unless my hands are on someone” and started saying “The money is always flowing into my checking account!” Instantly empowered!

You too can make it happen! Remember…

1. Identify where you have given your power away.

2. Journal what you would like to create. There is power in the written word, and it has a way of helping you sort through all kinds of things.

3. Keep the faith and take small actions towards creating more of what you want.

4. Allow the Universe to deliver by being consistent with your order, and leaving room for magic!